|I have bad news for you--if it hasn't already happened, some day
a woman is going to break your heart. Yep, if you're alive,
you're male, and you like women, some day one is going to break
your heart. Although it can be mitigated, it can't ever be
completely avoided, and how you respond to it will determine
your success with dating women.
What I'm going to do today is tell you how to get back into the
dating game--many guys screw this up, either jumping right back
in and getting into the good ol' rebound relationship, or waste
their lives mooning over the one that got away.
The first thing to realize is, no matter how much you use my
dating strategies, if your relationship with a woman ends in a
way you don't want it to (and this may range from her dumping
you to her dying in a car accident), you're going to feel some
pain, maybe some anger. You can't avoid that, so just accept it.
The worst of it will last about three weeks (sometimes more),
and then it will begin to slowly dissipate. During these three
weeks do NOT sit around and mope. Occupy your mind with massive
action--work your ass off to make more money, hit the gym hard,
do whatever you can to grab onto these powerful emotions and
harness them. I've known many men who've started great
businesses after dating a woman who figuratively kicked them in
the teeth. Why? They harnessed their emotions and turned them
towards creative means.
During this time I don't recommend you even think about dating
or women. Sports, business, guy stuff, hobbies are all fine, but
forget about women--they'll be there soon enough. The other
thing to avoid is hatred. Be pissed off at what happened, but
don't put it on her personally--you never know when she might
After the initial feelings have dissipated a bit, you want to
slowly start bringing women back into your life. I don't mean
dating or anything like that, I just mean starting conversations
with women. Talk to waitresses, bank tellers, saleswomen, and
try to create initial attraction. Don't follow up, just get used
to briefly creating attraction with all women. Do this for at
least a month.
By this time the pain will be dissipating day by day--it'll
still be there, but it will be less. The thing to do next is to
start turning the initial attraction into meetings--coffee works
best. Here you'll want to amplify that spark of attraction, and
look for the opportunity to spend more time with her.
You should not be meeting or dating women who are looking for a
serious relationship at this point. You want to meet women who
are bright and fun, and who are out to have a good time. Nothing
lessens pain more than having fun with a few great women,
re-acclimating yourself to being in their company. Stay with
this step as long as you want--I know a few knuckleheads who are
blissfully "stuck" at this step, and that's OK.
Now you're to the point where you can decide for yourself if
you're ready for something more serious. You've built a great
foundation for yourself--you turned pain into creativity,
learned how to create attraction for women, had some great
dating adventures with some great women, and have the CHOICE of
where to proceed next. Sounds a heck of a lot better to me than
chasing some dumb rebound relationship or spending your life
moping over the "one." She ain't the one, just the "last one"
and YOU get to choose the "next one!" Take it from the King, the
best cure for pain is planned action--you just might discover
you came out ahead in the end.
About the author:
About the Author: John Alanis, "The King of Let 'em Come to
You", is author of the "Women Approach You" system at
http://www.womenapproachyou.com. His blog is at
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