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When starting a new relationship, many women (and men as well) tend to
overlook some behaviors in their new partner that do not bode well for the
future. Then, down the road, comes the exclamation ‘If I had only known...’.
As a Psychotherapist who has worked with mostly women and a few men
in the field of Domestic Violence, during counseling sessions we can always
trace back unpleasant and also dangerous character traits to the very start
of the relationship.

Here are some ‘Red Flags’ to watch out for in a new partner.

1)He makes decisions about where to go with little or no input from

2)He belittles your opinion when the two of you are alone and may
call you names.

3)He makes disparaging remarks about you in front of others and
may talk about you as if you were not there.

4)He may be rough during love-making and make you engage in
acts you do not like.

5)He does not want to spend time with your friends or family and
insists you socialize with his people.

6)He will not acknowledge your areas of expertise and may put
down what you do in the workplace - ignore any of your

7)He may openly flirt with other women and then accuse you of
being jealous when you object.

8)He gets angry and loses his temper over trivialities. Stays angry
for a long time and attempts to blame all arguments on you.

9)May hit walls when angry.

10)One of the main factors is that he comes on very strong in the
beginning of your relationship - sweeps you off your feet - and
wants an exclusive relationship too quickly. Many women feel
flattered at the intensity of the man’s seeming need for an immediate
connection and consequently overlook the inappropriateness
of it.

*This should not be confused with ‘love at first sight’ where one
or both parties feel an instant connection - without any of the
aforementioned behaviors.*

There are many other factors that could be listed - but if the man in your
life begins displaying the above qualities - realize it will not get better, only
worse. He will likely be unwilling to discuss his emotions openly and feel
that women are the inferior sex.

If this describes your man, run - do not walk - out of his life. The next step
will likely be physical abuse.

About the Author

Terri Arnold, MS (Spicy Grandma) has been a Psychotherapist for over twenty years. She has owned and operated a brick and mortar dating service and has also counseled female victims of domestic violence, helping them to regain their self esteem and lead happy and productive lives. She now invites you to visit her friendly, interactive and informative 50+ dating community at http://www.spicy-senior-singles.com.

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